Most people agree that the Internet is now an essential part of our lives. It's used to research, shop, send messages, and it has delivered an unprecedented and robust way to slack off at work. Many people don't remember, but back in the 1980s people had to fax each other pictures of LOL cats. In fact, aside from the ability to clone your pet, and those Dippin' Dots ice cream pellets that don't melt, the Internet is the most transformational technology of modern times. But when Al Gore invented it, I highly doubt that he had any idea the Internet would become the digital equivalent of a creepy guy in a white van parked outside an elementary school.
Sadly, it is a playground for predators; and parents of children from 5 to 18 must remain vigilant to this threat.
Most parents today are already aware that they should never let a child meet an online acquaintance in person without supervision. And everyone knows that a Facebook friend claiming to be a student at the other high school across town may in fact be a middle-aged, basement-dwelling cretin on the other side of the country, sitting at his computer while his corpulent frame challenges the thread count of his sweaty, sleeveless "wife beater" T-shirt, asking kids half his age what they're doing this weekend, all while his aged mother yells at him to get a job. It isn't news that there are a plethora of cyber-weirdoes, and that the Internet presents the very real threats for a child of being kidnapped, assaulted or becoming the victim of phishing and identity-theft schemes. But what should be reevaluated is how parents confront these threatsas well as how we instruct our kids to respond in the face of these dangers.
(Note: Phishing is the attempt to acquire sensitive information like credit card info by masquerading as a legitimate entity. Not to be confused with Phish, a festival-loving rock band masquerading as the Grateful Dead.)
Like a series of tubes, some of which contain boobs
For starters, when it comes to younger children, monitoring software (like Net Nanny) that can also block access to certain Web sites actually makes sense. Monelle Smith, a mother of three says, "We use a monitoring program to keep them off sites with inappropriate content. We also keep the door open, and walk in and out of the room when they're online."
Some people feel that monitoring software is a bit too 1984. But it does have its place. Even if kids aren't looking for obscene content, they can stumble upon it accidentally.
"The first thing I ever saw, when my daughter was in her early teens, was that the King County Library Web site address [in the greater Seattle area] is kcls.org, but if you accidentally type in kcl.com you ended up at a Japanese porn site," says Ron Reid, father of a now 20-year-old daughter. Parents have enough questions to answer without having to explain why the library Web site is so eager to provide you with free amateur videos. I must admit though, that even with the excellent excuse of "research," I did not type kcl.com into my browser for fear that my wife, who isn't Japanese, might check my browser history and install Net Nanny on my PC.
For older kids in their tween and teenage years, monitoring programs are not a good investment. Pamela Lewis, the parent of two teenagers shares this viewpoint, and explains what has been a successful approach for her family.
"I don't think parents can ever 'manage' their kids' online activity," says Lewis. "If parents control access to certain sites, kids will find a way to gain access to the sites that have been controlled. The best approach, which worked with my kids, is to sit down and have a conversation about the realities of online chatting. With my kids I simply explained that there are people online that they need to stay away from. I supported my claim by providing real life stories of how adults used the Internet to lure kids into doing something dangerous. I told them to listen to their inner-voice, if something does not feel right, don't take a chance. You would be amazed how developed a young person's 'inner-voice' can be once they have been made aware of dangers. Most important is to develop a way to communicate with your kids and TRUST THEM."
No, mom. Of course I don't have any other email addresses
Most parents have a hard time simply talking to their kids in lieu of any kind of direct monitoring. Their very legitimate fears can lead them to hack into e-mail accounts or otherwise take actions that would make the Patriot Act seem mild. Ms. Lewis' approach is a wise one, given the proliferation of Web-enabled devices and the insidious new trend of "sexting" -- sending naked pictures via cell phones. Dr. Robyn J.A. Silverman, a child and teen development expert and creator of the Powerful Words Character Development System, brings up an excellent point:monitoring home usage is just one of the fronts in the war for your child's safety.
