Bachelor parties have come a long way since the days of stogies and stag films. And though they're much newer, bachelorette parties have gotten a lot classier too. These days, to-be-weds are more likely to opt to do something adventurous (think a white-water rafting trip for the guys) or posh (a full day of pampering at the spa for the ladies) than risqué. And if you'd rather have a full-on fiesta with all of your friends — and your fiancé — instead of the outdated "last night of freedom," you can. We've got the scoop on the who, what, when, where, why and how of throwing a coed bachelor/ette bash.
Why Go Coed?
Are you the type of bride whose best friends are boys? Or the kind of groom with plenty of gal pals? It's not uncommon these days for to-be-weds to have plenty of friends who aren't the same sex, especially if you've been together a long time and have lots of buds that the two of you share. If you wouldn't split up to party any other night of the year, going your separate ways for a bachelor or bachelorette bash might seem kind of...well...weird.
Who Should Be Invited?
Depending on how big you want the group to get, you can stick to just your wedding party plus close friends and relatives, or you can plan for a longer guest list. There aren't any hard and fast rules about whom to invite, but in general, it's a good idea to stick to your own age range. While inviting the dads to a bachelor party is de rigueur for some, at a coed bash, it might make things a bit uncomfortable.
When Should it Happen?
Almost no one throws a bachelor or bachelorette bash the night before the wedding these days — no one wants to walk down the aisle hung over. And, besides, if you've been living together or dating for years, the whole "last night of freedom" thing is kind of a moot point. If your crowd comes from the area, your timeline can be a bit more flexible. A month or so before the wedding is probably your best bet, as you'll be able to relax and have fun before those last-minute details start to really pile up. If most of your guests will have to travel, schedule it for a couple of nights before the wedding. That way, everyone will be in town, but things won't be totally crunched the night before.
Where Should We Have it?
You can throw your party anywhere, depending on how you want to do it. For a small group, you can head to one of your wedding party member's homes, or for a more upscale fete, a swanky bar. Got a larger group? Get your blood pumping with something fun (and just a little competitive) like a softball game or mini golf. There's no limit to what you can do, so think creatively!
How Can We Pull it Off?
If the two of you think all of this sounds great, tip off your best man and maid of honor (or best maid and man of honor!) so they won't go to the trouble of planning separate parties. If you want them to plan something for you, you can ask them to work together to organize the soiree. Or, if you want, you can be more involved. Though they'll probably want to pitch in, there's no rule saying everything has to be a surprise. The two of you can help make it exactly the kind of night (or day) you want.
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