Sign 1: When he wants to spend your tax return on a flat-screen TV even though you'd prefer to go to Paris, your response is, "You always get your way!" (Repeat multiple times at top volume until hoarse.)
Sign 2: When it comes to sex, you'd prefer a little less talk and a lot more ... action. Your solution? Accuse him of sexual neglect via cheating.
Sign 3: He jokes that when he imagined his dream girl, she wasn't so messy. To teach him a lesson, you throw the entire contents of his wardrobe on the front lawn. Look who's sloppy now.
Sign 4: Though you've logged lots of hours with his family, you can't remember the last time he spent any quality time with yours. To make your point, you start crying until your partner feels like crap.
Sign 5: When you see him being friendly with a female coworker at a bar, you force him to dissect every word of their exchange back at home (like, "Great to see you. Great to see you? What the hell does that mean?!").
Sign 6: When he doesn't notice your haircut, you vow not to compliment him the next time he makes an effort to dress up. Actually, you'll tell him he looks awful.
Sign 7: While you're spring cleaning and find a shoebox full of his mementos (including pics of exes), you toss it all in the recycling bin without asking him. Oops.
Sign 8: He goes out with the guys and gets home at the crack of dawn. Your retaliation: You go out the very next night wearing your most scandalous dress and tell him not to wait up.
Do four or more of these signs ring true for you?
If so, it's time to dial back your behavior. Why? Well, for starters, a fight with you means a full-volume freak-fest. Sometimes you'll destroy things; other times, you'll fight until you're too exhausted to bark anymore. Not good! "Your flare-ups tend to be so unpredictable, you're virtually begging your partner to bury his own anger," explains Jeff Palitz, a licensed marriage and family therapist. "The more stunts you pull, the more your spouse will pull away and ignore you."
Tame-your-temper tricks:
The key is to delay your explosions. The next time you fight, take a walk, suggests Palitz. Once you've gotten a little more oxygen flow to your brain, you can approach the topic logically (like, Okay, maybe he doesn't want another wife...he just said my closet was messy). Another approach? Try opening up (about your family, your sex life, how you'd like to spend your joint money) when you two are actually getting along, Palitz says. He's much more likely to hear you when you aren't screaming.
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