Whip out family photos
Um, yeah...that photograph of you and all your girlfriends drinking foot-long Hurricanes in Cancun -- not so in-law friendly. Replace your less-than-angelic pics with family photos (son plus his beaming mom at the wedding is always a hit). Hint: You can slide your family photo behind your crazy vacation one in the frame. Should you get a surprise visit, you can quickly swap out the incriminating shot.
Bring out the blooms
Remember after your wedding, when you looked at each other and said, "What the hell are we going to do with all of these vases?" Well, their time has come. Pull them out and fill 'em with flowers. Your house will look polished, and it'll give your place a warm, happy holidays vibe. We know it's really just a cheap psychological trick, but it works.
Lower the bar
Your frat brothers might be totally impressed by your extensive, top-shelf bar, but if your in-laws see it, they're going to spend the rest of the night researching Al-Anon groups on the Internet. Streamline your liquor selection and keep just a few select bottles out on display. Don't worry about thinning out a heavily stocked wine rack if you have one. Whether it's actually true or not, it suggests you're mature, cultured collectors, not party animals.
Hide the XXX stuff
In high school, you may have thought your parents didn't have a clue. Yet they managed to find your bong, your diary and your 2 Live Crew album. Your in-laws are just as wily, but more focused. They'll head straight for your medicine cabinet, and given enough time (and brazenness), maybe your nightstand goodie drawer. So take a good look in there and decide what you wouldn't want them to see. Birth control pills, condoms and other prophylactics and fun electronic devices scream, "Your child is having sex, dirty sex!" Toss them in a baggie and stash it in your sock drawer -- the one spot they're not likely to check.
Stock the fridge
Parents always worry about whether their kid is eating right, so load your fridge with fresh fruit and veggies, and keep a variety of cookbooks in view. When your mother-in-law wanders in, she'll see that you're all about the home-cooked meals...even if you're really subsisting on Subway and cereal.
Show off the tchotchkes
Suuuuure, you loved that "I Heart Boston" snow globe, the Russian doll, the Appalachian woven basket. So much so that you wanted to keep them safe (very safe) in your storage unit. But when ol' Betty and Bob come over, they'll be looking around for the gifts they bought you. So keep all the knick-knacks you were given in a box under your bed and quickly display them right before your in-laws arrive. Once they leave, toss 'em back in their hiding place.
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