Women are notoriously bad at recognizing "The One." We nurture dreams of marriage after one great date. We abide by draconian rules about who's our "type." And, most of all, we fall over and over again for men who are the human equivalent of dirty-water dogs.
Conversely, we're experts at knowing a good woman for you when we see her ─ it's embedded in the female genetic code. And, just as important, we can spot a bunny boiler in the making.
You're at a disadvantage, especially when smitten. Which is why you need our list of questions you must ask yourself about your gal before offering her a permanent position. Our grading scale: Three strikes is forgivable, otherwise neither of us would pass our own test. (Em is not terribly quick on the credit-card draw when out with her fiancé, and Lo's gym visits are rarer than an Amazon River dolphin.) Four strikes is a bit sketchy, though, and as for five or more ─ don't make us say, "We told you so."
1. Are you the center of her universe?
It might feel nice to be worshipped for a while, especially if you've just been dumped, but that'll get old fast ─ particularly when she calls four times during the season finale of The Wire.
She's a keeper if ... she has at least one non-work-related hobby she's passionate about. It means she knows how to have fun without a man and that she won't need you constantly by her side. And if she continues to make time for her own friends (loyalty is good), she won't freak out when you plan a poker night.
2. Has she insisted on paying for some dates, or at least the drinks?
We know an uptown sort of lady who boasts to her friends, female and male, "I have never had to pay for a drink in my life." According to her retro worldview, men pay for everything, and her boyfriends wait on her hand and foot while she watches Desperate Housewives.
She's a keeper if ... she likes treating you sometimes. It means she'll approach relationships in a more egalitarian way ─ and when she says she'll take you for richer or poorer, she'll mean it.
3. Has she always exercised?
If she still has her seventh-grade swimming trophy and a collection of 10-K T-shirts, chances are she'll work out for decades to come, which means the great butt and killer legs that first grabbed your attention are here to stay. But those who go on exercise binges (is that a Tae Bo tape?) or fad diets, only to lose interest quickly, are destined for saddlebags. And if, like the girlfriend of a certain friend of ours, she stays slim by eating a plain celery stalk for dinner every night, pack her a nice sandwich before you dump her.
She's a keeper if ... you can set your watch to her 30-minute gym visit. An active lifestyle means way more than having shuffled through a half-marathon 6 years ago.
4. Does she ever surprise you?
A just-because present, perhaps? We know it sounds hokey. But we're not talking about a throw pillow bearing a photo of the two of you and the inscription "2gether 4ever" (unless it's a gag gift, in which case she's hilarious and a total keeper). No, we mean the little things that say she's thoughtful and likes the idea of taking care of you.
She's a keeper if ... she notices that you're out of shaving cream and buys some; you arrive for a date and she's cooking, with a good bottle of red already breathing; she initiates sex.
