According to a recent research study, three of the hardest things on the planet are diamonds, iron, and … dating after divorce. Because after your divorce, you pretty much have to go back to romance school. You have to learn not just how to write an online dating profile, but how to love and trust again.
After my divorce, I asked myself how I could trust that a woman genuinely loved me and not the material things I could offer. After all, don't all the great gurus tell us that true happiness and fulfillment comes from within, not from within one's wallet? Does dating success require that a man spend a small fortune on his date? Do women expect it? Is not a man more than a bank account and some testosterone? Do I ask too many questions? (I know, I'm working on that.)
Last month, I decided to try what I viewed as a dating expense experiment. It would be an experiment never before attempted (or at least admitted to) in the course of human dating history: I was going to have a wonderful second date—you know, that all-important date following the initial coffee date, and spend less than twenty dollars doing so.
That's right, less than 20 dollars on a date in Los Angeles.
The art of the 99-cent date
OK, I get it. I can hear women across the land (especially those in my city) exclaiming, "Cheapskate! Loser! Creep!" But I thought it was a brilliant idea. Hey, they poked fun at Columbus, but he showed them. He found a way of impressing women without having to spend a fortune—simply by discovering a continent.
Surely my date would admire my thriftiness, my resourcefulness, my imagination and creativity. I'd discover a continent of inexpensive fun. And if the woman "played along" and was fine with it, I'd trust that she wanted to be with me, whether we were having gourmet French cuisine or nachos at Taco Bell. I would once again be able to love.
And so, armed with 20 big ones in cold, hard cash, I strode into the one place where I knew I'd get great value for my money — the 99-Cent-Only Store. The store with the motto: "Nothing Over 99 Cents Ever!" I looked for the "Cheap Daters Welcome Here!" sign, but apparently it was being repaired.
I arrived at Sarah's place wearing my playful Looney Tunes tie (a $9.99 value!), with a gift for her—an official Olympics Souvenir Program. A collector's item! It originally sold for $12.95, but I got it for, yes, 99 cents. Oh, sure, it was for the 1984 Olympics, but that makes it a 20th anniversary collector's item. Nor did I forget her cat, Marvin, whom I surprised with a Whiskas four-pack of Chicken and Seafood.
